Malta Today
https://www.maltatoday.com.mt/comment/blogs/105531/on_the_right_to_family_and_civil_unions_for_lgbtiq_persons__christopher_vella#.X5lQYqpKiUk
Sunday, 25 October 2020
Christopher Vella
On the right to family and civil unions for
LGBTIQ+ persons
Last Wednesday 21st October, Pope Francis made the headlines once again with the comments he made in the new documentary Francesco. The Pope seems to have acknowledged the right of LGBTI people to family life, and showed support for the legalisation of civil unions.
There have
been mixed reactions to these comments. To some they seem ground-breaking making
him the first Pontiff to have made such a public endorsement; to others they are
just nice words not yet reflected in official church teaching; to most he said
nothing really ‘new’. The Catechism and a number of Church institutions
(including the Congregation of Doctrine and Faith - CDF) had previously made
statements against discrimination, while a number of Church leaders, including Malta’s
Archbishop Scicluna had, in 2014, recognised the need to legalise civil unions.
To others, he has overstepped his authority by making these statements.
It is difficult
to sum up the various perspectives and analyse them properly in a short
article. Let me try and make a few observations that reflect the experience of
my own community, Drachma LGBTI and Drachma Parents, which support LGBTIQ+
persons and parents of LGBTIQ+ persons in their journeys of self-acceptance,
and spiritual and sexual integration, as well as the nurturing of family
dynamics. I will also be tapping into my own lived experience as a married man
since 2018 with my husband Tyrone.
The Pope
speaks about the right of LGBTIQ+ people to family life. It is difficult to
really understand what the Pope means by family life. His initial words seem to
imply the family of origin, in which one is born. It would make sense
understanding it that way, because LGBTIQ+ people do not deserve to be expelled
by their families, but should rather find a loving communion of parents and
siblings that love, accept and support them. The Pope had already said this on other
occasions when he met parents of LGBTIQ+ persons. His reference to civil unions
seems to refer to the LGBTIQ+ persons’ family of choice, one which is the
result of a choice for a specific life partner. In this respect, he seems to
understand the need for the State to protect LGBTIQ+ couples from discrimination
and unjust persecution through the legal security of a civil union. Could this
be a departure from the approach taken in the 1992 statement by the CDF (Art.
15-16) that clearly warns against recognising same-sex units as ‘families’? Pope
Francis’ support of civil unions implies that LGBTIQ+ relationships are not inherently
immoral but are worthy of a legal structure to sustain them in their
development.
The experience
of Drachma Parents has taught me about the importance of acceptance by the
family of origin. The love, respect and embrace one receives from the family
can allow an LGBTIQ person to grow as a dignified human being who can also love
and become a fruitful person in the Church and society. My own experience as a
married man is to also consider my own relationship as a family, like all other
families, with or without children. The fruitfulness of a family cannot be
calculated by the number of children, or the gender of the couple unit, but by
the respect, fidelity, sense of sacrifice and perseverance present within that
family. A family unit that celebrates, protects and embraces a person’s dignity
is what a family should do.
The Pope still
continues to use the ‘ugly’ term ‘homosexual’, which incidentally only the
Church and some right-wing conservative groups still use. It denotes a meaning
that is ‘narrow’ and ‘derogatory’, or which at best still considers LGBTIQ+
people a ‘problem’. Such derogation encourages negative comments commonly used
publicly to insult LGBTI people. It
reflects a wider continuity with Church understanding on LGBTIQ+ people and
what is still perceived to be a ‘lifestyle’, or worse still, as an ephemeral
fashion trend. Nonetheless, the Pope’s approach has always been rooted in
humane terms, with an emphasis on spiritual accompaniment of people in their
life journeys. His words and gestures towards LGBTIQ+ persons have given hope
to many still struggling to integrate their spirituality and sexuality.
Pope Francis
steered clear of the polemic of marriage. In that respect, there is nothing new
in what he says. The Church continues to distinguish between heterosexual
couples and all others, on the basis of so-called gender complementarity and
the biological openness to life. The local Church and the Church in Rome has
consistently made that point. Meanwhile, living as I do in a same-sex marriage,
I see very little difference in the real life dynamics from straight couples:
the same challenges, yearnings and the same love. Our relationships are equally
enriching, life-giving and fruitful. We may not be biologically open to life in
a ‘normal’ manner. But, there is more to marriage, than merely being able to
‘make’ children, as Pope Francis makes clear in Amoris Laetitia Chapter 5 when
he speaks about ‘Love made fruitful’. The Church can celebrate
our fidelity, commitment and fruitfulness as much as it celebrates these
qualities for heterosexual unions. If only the Church were to appreciate the
treasure it holds in clay jars!
Christopher Vella
Coordinator
of Drachma LGBTI and Co-Chair of the Global Network of Rainbow Catholics
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